Jackie_Snape80's Journal

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27 April 2011

Ok, so I have been trying to make a few additions to my diet to up my caloric intake. Whenever the caf has black bean burgers I opt for that over the regular veggie burger. It's high in calories(I'm guessing it is anyways...it looks kinda big :S ) and it tastes sooo awesome. It's too big for my buns though (insert perverted comment here) and I have to cut it in a circle lol. I'm adding a bit more nutritional yeast to my normal 'salad' of nearly raw broccoli, sliced carrots, and spinach.(kinda low cal for a main lunch addition, but it's sooo good, especially with a tsp of hot chili sauce!) I also add a couple of almonds here and there...it helps a teensy bit I guess.

I might make some homemade chocolate pudding later >:D I made some for the first time last night and it was pretty pimp. I will not be adding any protein powder to it...turns out that stuff doesn't do well in anything heated(3rd time trying). The stupid Kroger's that I went to the other day didn't have dark chocolate cocoa powder so I just got the generic regular. Not bad, but if I'm going to make/eat chocolate I want it to be as dark/yummy as possible. Even so, the pudding is low-cal, sugar-free, cholesterol free(vegan, duh) and EASY.

Today was the last day of classes! Now for stupid study timeness... I need to study tomorrow and Friday for my driving class/test. And then Sunday night/Monday morning for History and English on Monday, and *then* I have Monday night to study/practice for my last exam...Math. Huzzah!

27 April 2011

I am going to try resisting the elliptical machine today! Strictly toning! I have a sculpt and tone class at 12:15-1 and another at 7-7:50 lined up for today. It will be plenty, but I need to fight the urge to do more. I'll probably feel like a loser for not hitting the machine, but I need to let myself recover a bit, right? -Sigh-

I think I've screwed up my stomach pretty badly. I get extremely full so easily, and this makes it hard for me to finish dinner, or eat meals/snack(especially near the end of the day) This is when I'm most likely to purge. I'm just struggling so hard NOT to eat too much throughout the day, when I get to dinner I haven't had enough! I've gotten better about it, but it's still terrible cycle I have going. I can already tell that summer is going to be a real b*tch...

25 April 2011

24 April 2011

Ugh, I'm trying to wait until we got to my grandma's today to really eat anything. I know that if I eat anything before then, and then I eat when I get there I'll just feel guilty and either not eat any dinner or throw up anything that I do eat. This sucks that I have to do this, but it's just what I can do so far. I've been drinking tons of water and snacking on some edible grass to keep busy.

I've started purging again. 5 times within 3 days...yeah, I know. I did it once on Thursday(I think) night and I just felt...complete. It felt like I was doing the right thing. But, if I do it once, I'll do it for the next few days...a nearly uncontrollable habit, I guess. It's hard to describe. I suppose it's like I'm a kid stealing an extra cookie from the cookie jar. I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I don't care. The feeling I get from it makes me feel good. Also, the fact that I won't d much actual exercising until Monday just intensifies these feelings. -sigh- I have my first real counseling appointment May 10th at 1:15. I really hope that I can get through this even though part of me doesn't want to...says I'm weak for eating and not getting rid of the food.

Anyway,I'm going to try and fill up on fruit and veggies at lunch...and not dessert. I'm also going to try to move around and stand up as much as I can and do whatever I can to help setting up and in the kitchen. I got a package of Reese's Pieces as part of my basket today...as well as some sauces, a bunny cookie cutter, and some mini carrot-shaped containers :) So, I may have a few pieces of candy here and there...

It's also pouring rain and thundering here...preeeety dreary for Easter. I guess this means that the egg hunt for my siblings is off :/ Oh, well. 2 1/2 hours to go....

21 April 2011

Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
66.5 kg 9.8 kg 2.9 kg 100%
   Add Comment Losing 0.7 kg a Week


Jackie_Snape80's Weight History


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