Reina Estrella's Journal

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29 October 2008

28 October 2008

27 October 2008

I'm feeling better today just very bored.

I was really looking forward to going to the parks today to walk around the lakes, but it's pouring here so can't do that.

I'm just trying to stay positive and keep a smile on my face.

I'm sorry if I've been dragging some of you down here.

I should be positive for you guys.

I'm just so young to have 3 kids and 2 jobs and school and trying to lose weight. It's just overwhelming...

Work is really slow right now and we're struggling to make ends meet this month...I just wish I had someone to fall back on like the college kids I'm in class with whose parents pay their rent and all of their bills. Sigh.

I don't have a mom around to answer questions about the kids, or whatever else. It's frustrating sometimes. I don't know all the answers to life...I'm still growing up myself...

I'm doing very well eating-wise. Exercise has been difficult since it's been raining here and i do my walking outside.

So since i can't exercise like I want to, I've been eating way less to try to make up for the calories I can't burn.

I'm not starving myself or anything. I'm just not getting hungry lately...

27 October 2008

Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
90.7 kg 0 kg 4.5 kg 100%
   Add Comment Losing 9.5 kg a Week

26 October 2008

Still very down...

Most of you will notice that I am now "gaining 8 lbs a week".

I simply decided to weigh in this morning after drinking coffee, 64 oz of water, and eating hard boiled eggs and sausage...

very stupid move.

But I also cheated 5 days last week and wanted to light a fire under my booty to stick with my program.

That's why I recorded that...as a reminder that if I keep on doin what I'm doin, I will gain that weight back...

I have been back on my diet now for 3 days....don't really have any appetite due to being so down. I just don't even wanna eat.

I'm so sad that I'm sick to my stomach. I hurt for everyone in my family...looking at the beautiful children I'm raising just reminds me of how I was left behind. I'm trying my best to be the guardian I always dreamed of...

It usually brings me such great unexplainable JOY that I am doing what I can to break this vicious cycle, but now, I just hurt. I hurt for me, I hurt for my kids, I hurt for their biological mothers and fathers that are missing out on their first steps and tucking them in at night, I hurt for my mother who is missing out on such a loving and forgiving daughter...I hurt for my brother doing life in prison, I hurt for my stepmother who can't stop getting high. I hurt for my son, who died when I was 16...

I hurt. I simply hurt.


Reina Estrella's Weight History


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