Bates519's Journal

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03 September 2010

Finally decided to bite the bullett this morning and hop on the scale. Not as mortifying as I had expected! 128.4 - Certainly up since last week but I really dont think I can use gaining muscle as an "excuse" I think I really am!!! Last night when I was in lift class checking my form and staring in the mirror, loathing my existence in the class, I couldn't help but notice my arms are starting to look pretty toned. I can see the muscle groups flexing when I apply the work. The back is starting to define itself too! As exciting as it is not not just be a comfortable pile of flesh anymore, I really liked when the scale was just on the steady decline :/

I am going to do some research into some exercise aids today, the vasodiolators that allow you to burn more calories intrest me. I have discovered I am all about taking vitamins or supplements that will work symbiotically with the effort I am exerting to be more beneficial. But, I WILL NOT take anything that will cause long term damage to my metabolism or body!!

PS - here comes my Arch Nemisis! The weekend! and to boot its my best friends birthday, and it football opening weekend! The only support I have in my corner is working this weekend. Waking up at 5am Sat/Sun will certainly effect how much fun I can get myself into at night.

I can do it! Self Control! Dig Deep Self!! Dig Deep :)

02 September 2010

I've been avoiding my scale this week and fear weighing in. It taunts me every time I venture into the water closet. Not that I am doing a whole lot of cheating, I just have a feeling no matter what, my weight has gone up since the last weigh in and dread seeing an incline in my diet calendar. It would crush me!

The last weigh in surprised the bee-jesus out of me, but hey I was more than willing to take it! But with a few days of not so great dieting and not so over the top exercising I feel like I am right back where I started :( that can be rather disheartening!!

On the other hand, I have amped up the amount of weight I use while training and think that perhaps I am gaining muscle? I don't feel fatter in my clothes, I think that is the only thing keeping me sane.

NO MORE DIET CHEATING!!!!

Eat Healthy, Be Healthy. Think Skinny, Be Skinny.

30 August 2010

Is the secret to being skinny no social life? We will find out! Today was day one of a 13 day straight work binge! I guess its a good thing that it is during the beginning of football season since beer and tailgating food can be detrimental to ones figure. Not to mention I already have the most ludicrous lack of control on the weekends!!!

I really hope I can reach my goal before I go to Harry Potter World in 3 weeks. This is a trip I have been waiting for for a LONG LONG LONG time. And when I look back at pictures from this trip I want to be looking at how much fun I am having!! Not dwelling over my figure... Clearly I have learned this the hard way.

PS - think I have discovered the worst feeling in the world, okay maybe thats a bit dramatic, but it is a feeling I hate. Being starving and feeling so fat at the same time. icky!

29 August 2010

27 August 2010

Totally fell off the wagon yesterday (see diet calendar for details). Firstly I blame myself, secondly I blame the lack of sleep I got the night before. I slept for 3 hours went to work, came home and crashed, slept for 2 hours woke up ate and emergency PBJ because I was all.... weird from not eating all day. Ate Jimmy Johns 2 hours later, fell back asleep, woke up and ate some Coldstone and naturally fell back asleep :/ And of course God forbid I eat the "healthy" stuff at any of the fast food restaurants. I could have had an unwich, but nooooooo I had to eat the damn French bread at JJ's. I could have had to sorbet, but nooooooo I needed the damn banana ice cream, with graham crackers and caramel topping as an after thought

FAT
FAT
FAT
FAT

Ew, I really hate myself for yesterday. How am I ever going to lose 11 lbs if I can't control myself?!?!

Oh and I forgot the most important part of yesterdays God awful binge. I didn't work out. EPIC FAIL!

They say everything in moderation, but I don't think a day of binging is what "they" were talking about. UGH, food remorse.


Bates519's Weight History


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