|
I had been beating myself up a lot lately. I usually do anyway, but OK, here goes. I was tired right before spring break, and I looked forward to it. Then my friend asked if he could stay with me and Pat while he was in Houston, and what was supposed to be a weekend with us turned into a Friday through Wednesday visit. Don't get me wrong. I love Drew, but geeeeez louiissseeee. It was supposed to be my week of relaxation and renewal, and I feel like I didn't get that. I was cheated, cheated of half a week of sleeping in and eating okra and watching all my "Damages" shows.
The worst thing about that visit was that he would say, "Jona (his nickname for me), let's go to Sonic." And we would get in my car at 10 p.m. and get tots or something toxic in a Route 44 cup, and I would HATE myself the next day, like I just woke up next to a stranger -- except, instead of a stranger, I woke up next to some empty Sonic wrappers and an empty Route 44 cup. Ugh. I think I would have been OK with waking up next to a stranger.
After he left, the rest of the spring break was spent on running all the errands I couldn't do during the regular school days, and before I knew it, bam. Monday, Manic Monday. I had to sit myself down and tell myself to quit eating badly. In fact, I have even stopped drinking my green tea because I was loading it up with lots and lots of sugar.
What happened when I weighed in the Monday after spring break? That scale teeter-TOTtered back and forth, and finally, the nurse said, "You still weigh the same." NOOOOOOOOOO! I was supposed to lose weight that spring break. I was going to go to the gym and sleep there and not leave until they kicked my butt out, and ... I think I sunk into despair and called in sick Tuesday so I could spend a whole day detoxifying and getting myself together. And I still wasn't happy until Friday, when I came home after Bootcamp and took my shirt off, and Pat said, "Your weight may not have changed, but look at you! LOOK AT YOU!"
Ah, redemption. I was like, "Oh yeah, look at me, look at me," and all those icky yucky feelings dissipated. I'm smiling. Funny how a few words of encouragement from her just got me happy again.
Our last weigh-in is this Thursday. Until then, I'm going to go to Bootcamp and try to get my blood sugar down. My BL partner and I may not win, but we're not going to throw in the towel, either.
|