anacatarinq's Journal, 29 Nov 19

Voilà après presque 6 mois, je revient à 48 kg.... jsp si c’est « à cause » du ramen ou plutôt grâce à ça.....
(Je sens plus à l’aise d’écrire en anglais) since the summer, I started to try to lose weight, I can’t say I was “fat”, 48kg for a 156cm tall girl, I was just fine, normal, but I wasn’t confident about my body at all, so I set up a goal : to lose 4 kg in 2 months, during the entire summer holidays... since there isn’t to much weight for me to lose, the 4 kg is really difficult for me to lose, I worked out for 1h30m every single day and even turned down chances to go out with friends.. my diet was super strict, 1500cal per day, if I eat a little bit more, I feel guilty... but at last I just lost 3kg before school began, as I had less time to do exercises, I only eat 1400 cal per day, so at that time, I was super tired and exhaustive every day, but still had to study and work hard...... now after nearly half a year, I am now back to the person I was before... but something changed : I lost my period, I lose hair dramatically (I don’t even dare to wash my hair now...), my knees become weak, I can’t run any more, they even hurt if I walk too much... and the most important negative effect : I have a really unhealthy relationship with food, I can’t stop the desire to eat more and more, I binge almost everyday for the last three days ( also the tests are stressful, I thought I may found comfort in food..), I feel guilty and just want things to be normal again, half a year ago I was just a happy girl who eat instinctively and was healthy, pretty, if I can go back, I just want to tell her that she is already perfect, there’s no need of changes, good things may not come for her, but that’s not because she is “fat” or it’s not even because of her, it’s just that good things take time, all she needs to do is to wait and be happy.....

47.8 kg Lost so far: 0.2 kg.    Still to go: 2.8 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.

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540 kcal

Fat: 16.99g | Prot: 18.79g | Carbs: 84.00g.   Breakfast: Kaki, Skippy Beurre de Cacahuète , Nocilla Prêt à Partiner , Banane, l'atelier Farines: Eperautre Ble Graines Tournesol Pavot, Lactel Lait Écrémé avec Vitamine D. more...