CalorieKiller's Journal

CalorieKiller's Profile | Weight History

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29 August 2007

I’m convinced it can be scientifically proven that dieting lengthens minutes. So if you think life's passing you by too fast—just start a weight loss regimen. So how come dieting is the fastest way to make life come to a screeching halt? Perhaps because, in many ways, it’s a gratingly passive endeavor. Consider that, typically I'd meet a goal or challenge with concrete action and plenty of it. But in so many ways, dieting is the opposite; where one must meet the problem only with religious in-action. In fact, it is only in the diligence of not-doing that one sees the desired result. Decline, decline, decline. It's an awkward reversal of how most of us control-freak, Type A's like to manage our difficulties. We want to get on top of it, wrest the life out of it, and document our success. And once victorious, we're then free to complain-brag to our friends and family about that most recent nuisance of a problem we had to deal with. Sigh. But not with weight loss, huh? Day by day...by excruciatingly long day. We can do nothing, really, but do nothing. Oh, of course we can work-out. But really it is all about the food and just saying no over and over (Say, non sequitor but we should have a word for saying “no” over and over – and to this end I respectfully propose nover). And of course joining a site like this helps too; creating some documented markers of progress and a sense of community. Also, a voyeuristic arena for unhealthy comparison that few can probably resist <g>. But somehow it does seem to help pass the time and so I suppose I’m better for it. Sigh. Well, to the abject relief of anyone reading this rambling mess I suppose I’ll sign off now. After all, I’m a busy dieter. I’ve got some grass to gaze upon as it grows…and after that I’m needed to observe some fresh paint drying. Beyond that I suppose I will just hunt for some snails to watch as they make their way across the driveway for a few raucous hours.

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28 August 2007

I'd like to take out a weight mortgage. Who's with me? I promise to pay it back through months of excellent behavior, with interest of course! Wouldn't it be so sweet to just sign a contract and have all the extra pounds evaporate with a promise to pay? I mean, we've adapted to our "get now pay later" culture in so many other regards that re-wiring the mindset for this project seems wrought with unsettling wrongness. I'm perfectly content to deprive myself for months for this--even years--but how's about a size 6 today? Oh, of course you have to work for it to fully appreciate it, blah blah blah. I know, I know. We all know. But it doesn't hurt to fantasize about a different kind of mortgage lender. But let's face it, at this point I'd probaby have a second mortgage and have trouble in the current economy getting a non-devastating interest weight. Ah, which reminds me (unfondly) of that unmagical week that I dated a Mortgage Broker...he was a total boner but I digress...

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28 August 2007

Had my weigh-in appt today, and lost another 4 lbs! It feels good to be out of the 230's but still the number is so high. Sigh. But, (hopefully) only another couple months between me and the 100's. And that means wearing normal jeans again that "don't" have a pregnancy band around the waist.

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
103.9 kg	9.5 kg	33.6 kg	100%

Add Comment Losing 3.2 kg a Week

27 August 2007

I went to a wedding this weekend where I can tell the majority of the budget was shed toward fantastic cocktails, including peach cosmopolitans and cucumber martinis. The wine was ever-flowing around me. I did great sticking to my sparkling water and diet coke, but I do realize weddings seem to go on FOREVER if you're not drinking. Also it was pretty diverting seeing all the guests devolve from the pulled together polished souls at the ceremony to the frazzled, slurring story-tellers later in the evening. It was hilarious! Lost 2 more pounds over the weekend so I think I'll hit my goal for the week, which was 3 lbs. For me, sticking to a weekly goal has worked well. Salud!

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
104.3 kg	9.1 kg	34.0 kg	100%

(1 comment) Losing 1.3 kg a Week

25 August 2007

In one of my criminology courses back in college I learned about a study that struck me so intently I’ve continued to think about from time to time ever since. It seems there is one key difference, typically, between criminal populations and law-abiding people. The difference is their mental orientations around time. I'll elaborate on that in a second. But equally interesting was a collateral finding around the differences between people who fail in life, and people who are successful. Obviously concepts like this would pique the interest of someone who has had a lifelong battle with weight gain.

It was a significant longitudinal study where they interviewed thousands of people from each group based on objective (as possible) definitions of criminal, successful person, unsucessful person. They discovered the common thread is that criminals are typically opportunists who are present-oriented thinkers and are incapable of deferring gratification. Criminals tend to think about this instant--this hour--how they feel today. They seem incapable of anticipating the future and measuring consequences. It’s like they “see something shiny” and they can’t control themselves. It's almost like they have an unevolved, animalistic inability to control impulses. But what the study also found is that this trait is also shared in some degree by people who typically fail in general at things they attempt to do. And you can probably imagine the characteristic common to successful people is that they unfailingly are future-oriented thinkers who visualize long term, and are able to defer gratification for even the possiblity of big rewards.

I’m sharing this I guess because I think about that a lot lately. I’ve drawn upon this simple concept many, many times in my life ever since that lecture. I tried to adopt the concept of “deferred gratification” as a cornerstone of my personal self-management framework. At first when I heard about the study I got worried. I was honestly thinking "Hmmmm…(more acurately, Oh Shit) which one am I?” I saw something of myself in all categories. But the beauty of these illuminating moments is choice. I realize now, 12 years later, that this particular learning forced a choice in me that I've been owning to ever since. The fact is, I wanted to be successful in life so I chose to be future-focused and learn to enjoy a perpetual condition of deferred gratification. And when faced by tough challenges, or long term goals I keep having to choose again. I want to be a good person, and I want to be successful.

While tihsi s perhaps a bit deep for "fat secret" I think it is very related to everything we're going through and each of us in that we've made the choice to step into an uncomfortable situation, relenting control over our very personal food choices, disclosing our weight to strangers -- all because we're committed to a long term journey of becomming better and healthier. Despite the frames we often use to rationalize people's tendencies and behaviors (nature, nurture, opportunity, etc.) it is all a choice in the end, Isn't it?

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