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michellemjacobs81
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Weight History
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03 December 2014
My body feels better today.. maybe because I'm putting the right stuff in it!
Last night was a bit hard. I was fidgety...looking for that boredom snack.
Proud of myself for not having a snack for the sake of a snack!
Tried to think of reasons why I started eating for comfort in the first place.
I remember being about age 7 or so, and hiding inside the pantry so I could eat the hostess cupcakes.
The lady next door would call me the cupcake girl, because every time I would go over to her house, I would take a hostess cupcake from her treat drawer.
Turns out the people next door were nice. All except for their son who was a year older than I was.
I remember being about 5 or 6 and being under the stairs at his house, and him wanting to play doctor. I knew it was not right, something just didn't feel right about it even at that young.
We got caught a couple of times, and things stopped until I was about 10 or 11.
He came to our summer house and kept asking that I do sexual things for him. Again it felt wrong the whole time. It was forced.
I suppose from age 10 to age 17 I felt like I had to. My outlet was food. I couldn't say anything.
It wasn't until years later when I was about 26, that I told my mother. She wanted to know why I didnt want to invite the neighbors to my wedding. She didnt believe me.
For the next 7 years I was in a marriage where I was verbally abused. And I ate.
Thus, the 100 lbs. gain. I paid for everything while my 'husband' sat on the couch and played video games. House, cars, motorcycle, ....the stress of it was too much.
I left him 2 years ago. I have a wonderful 4 year old boy, who is my world. The man I am dating now is wonderful and supportive to me.
I feel I need to leave all this behind me and move on. It was damn near 20 years ago!
Some things stay with you. But I need to find a way to say it's not my fault, and that I am a good person, and move on. Time to start loving me. That little girl couldn't do anything to stop it.
(4 comments)
03 December 2014
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
111.1 kg
5.0 kg
29.5 kg
Reasonably Well
(1 comment)
Losing 8.9 kg a Week
02 December 2014
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
112.4 kg
3.7 kg
30.8 kg
Reasonably Well
Add Comment
Losing 26.0 kg a Week
01 December 2014
So there it is. I was indeed the largest one in the Thanksgiving photo of all the 'girls'. I wore a purple sweater, looking at the photo you would think I was a grape ready to pop!
I'm so disgusted with myself. How can you gain close to 100 lbs in 10 years! how?!
I don't much know where to start. I joined Fat Secret. Maybe tracking my foods and finding easy recipes will help.
My boyfriend asked what size in women's NFL attire I would wear. I told him to buy 2x in men's NFL because the women's hugged to close. WTH! I'm a girl!?! Clothes are supposed to hug you! I just don't feel comfortable in them.
I can't imagine what other people think when they see me. I have a good personality, and once they see that it's okay.
Wish me luck, and hoping for some new friends!
-Michelle
(17 comments)
01 December 2014
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
116.1 kg
0 kg
34.5 kg
Not Applicable
Add Comment
michellemjacobs81's Weight History
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