PEACE
Comparing my life experience now against the past has been something I have thought about and journaled about a lot over the last year. There are a lot of really big changes that have occurred as a result of a lot of really hard work during my sessions, at the gym and in everyday life, but there are a lot of subtle changes that have taken place as well.
I took Molly for a walk yesterday morning and I was thinking about the overall difference in the way I was 16 months ago and the way I am now, and the one thing that keeps popping into my mind is Peace.
I have such an inner peace now as compared to before, I live my everyday life in a very different way than I used to, and this I think is not only the result of a lot of very hard work and practice at the Center, but from personal and spiritual growth as well.
Looking back over the last ten years up until present, I see a person with her life in a lot of turmoil, frustration and anger, trying to find a way to be who she was really meant to be. It was anything but peace. There were peaceful times, like when fishing or painting a picture or watching a sunset, but I guess what I am trying to describe is the overall way that I feel every day, from the time I wake up until I go to bed at night. There are bad days for sure, but even then at the center of it is peace, a focus, maybe an emotional maturity that I don’t think I have ever known before.
I don’t think it’s only me thinking this, because other people that have known me for a long time have noticed the change, so I guess that’s a pretty good indicator that it’s not just me fantasizing about things, that it is real, and it is mine. Not only does my body look more physically fit, but when I interact with other people, whether it’s casual or happy, serious or sad, or even if someone is angry or upset with me, I am able to strike the right frame of mind and have a meaningful and non-judgmental conversation with that person without getting agitated, frustrated, or embarrassed. People notice that there’s something different about me and I find that has improved my relationships both with people I know and love to people I have never met before. It’s kinda cool.
Anyway, next week will be my last session and we will wrap everything up and I’ll be on my merry way, but not by any means empty-handed. I have that peace that I so enjoy that can stay with me forever, as long as I feed “the right wolf” and continue nurturing it, loving it, and cheering it on.
Peace is good!
Peace.