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Everyday is the day that I vow to start over.........the day that points are going to start again.......the day I am going to stop all the negative thoughts.........the day I am going to start feeling the way I did when I was doing such a good job, and knew that I had earned it. Why is it that I can't get that starting day to come??? I am all gung ho, even excited about it, then it just falls apart. Can food really have that much pull on my life and if so WHY??? I have over come many things in my life, why is this so hard? I remember thinking it was so easy once I got it down........but I feel now as though I have lost my way. I feel depressed, and like people are looking at me as if I am a failure, because they can tell that I have put some weight back on. Worse of all I look at myself like that! I wish I could be positive on how far I have came.......I used to be really REALLY heavy....I guess I get so worried cause even though I have only went up a size, I am terrified of going back to that place when I was so heavy. I am worried that if I dont' get a grip on it now, what will happen??? anyway, off to work I go.......sorry all FS buddies, I guess I had to vent. I will use everyday as my startover day,until it becomes THE ONE! Best to you all
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