I am pretty miffed today and a bit confused. DH and I had a "come to Jesus" moment over the weekend.
First off, let me say that I get it. I do get where he is coming from. He is under a tight schedule and is managed by his supervisors pretty much through out the day. He does not want that at home by me as well.
I.get.it
However, we have a home (that needs daily cleaning), a 4 year old (that requires daily attention), dinner (that needs to be cooked daily) and all kinds of fun stuff that has to be handled on a daily basis for our lives to run. As the Mom and Wife, I do not feel like it is my duty to come home, cook dinner, clean up the kitchen, get my little one in the bath, catch up on laundry, read the bedtime stories, prepare for the next day (including packing wholesome lunches) on my own. I feel like he should have a part in this and that is not waiting until 10pm to unglue himself from the computer gaming to decide that it is too late to do any of it and just go to bed. Neither one of us gets home before 6pm, so I have a tight 2-3 hour window to get everything accomplished.
He has told me, in the past, that he does not know what needs to be done so instead of my getting ticked off, I am supposed to tell him. Well, I have tried that and now he does not like that because he feels like I am micromanaging him. I have made a list of evening chores and taped it to the fridge and that does not work. I have flat out told him and he gets ticked.
I have realized that he just does not want to do anything because he is "tired" or "frustrated", well dang, join the club. Seriously, all of our fights are about household duties. He told me this weekend that he does not tell me how to do anything or when to do it. Guess what, it is because he does not have to. I KNOW what has to be done in order to keep things running. He simply does not care.
I need to vent or I am going to really lose it. I am trying to figure out how to go at it without him and not resent him fully in the process. :( :( :(