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I'm going to sit here, be calm, and try to make sense of what just happened. You guys will only understand it if i tell the whole story, so here goes...
When I was 15 I "fell in love" with an older man. I got pregnant, and he left me...I lost my son...we got back together. I was still so young and vulnerable, especially after the loss of a loved one like that. We were together for 4 years total. After our son died, he started to beat me...first it was just minor then it became worse. A year after it started happening, he got arrested for domestic abuse...he got bailed out and came back home...I didn't want him back...this caused problems. He caught 2 assault charges on me in the same day. He got out of jail, came to my house, hurt me, then ran out the window. The police were at my house for a good hour and I found out later that he was hiding in the apartment complex somewhere because when they left, he snuck in through a window. However, when he started to hit me, the cops were still outside and heard him hitting me...literally HEARD his hand connecting with my face...he was arrested at gun point. He got back out. I was stupid. I let him back in...it got even worse. Way worse. I started staying out all night and never going home...I met my fiance (again...we had met a few months earlier). Everytime we'd hang out (we had mutual friends) he's notice another bruise on me...I was never the type to get beat on...I was always the fighter, the one all the girls were scared of...so strange that I could be the victim...
Sean (my fiance) got sick of seeing the bruises and eventually figured out what was going on. He was tired of my excuses...he knew I could only be sooo clumsy...I once even told him I was trying to get a cable box out the top of the closet and it hit me in the eye. Yeah right.
Sean made a decision to come home with me and put his hands (if necessary) on the person that put his hands on me if he still refused to leave...we've been together ever since...I now have restraining orders on my ex in 3 counties and 2 states. He broke them tonight.
I work at a bar, and 2 of my ex's friends (that we used to live with) came up there about 2 weeks ago and saw me...we were still cool...they used to stand up for me...anyways, they told him where I worked and he came up there tonight.
Luckily, my man was working in the back...I told our bouncer and they put his ass out, but, he waited for me in the parking lot...I had an escort to the car...but he was hiding in a car and acted like he was comin' towards me...My comfort zone has been violated...I can't describe how else I feel...only seriously VIOLATED. It's like my blue skies just fell...It bothers me that it bothers me so much. I was shaking...I still feel sick...somebody say a prayer for me tonight, because, I don't ever want anybody to put their hands on me again...and now after only a few weeks of being truly happy, I'm scared again...very scared...back to the very place I tried to save myself from...
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 Comments
That's really bad and sad, not much I can say, but I'm here and a good listener. Becareful, it's a BAD Situation.......
06 Oct 07 by member: choth
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cant you put a restreaing order on him
06 Oct 07 by member: loosinisfun
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hum, i don't know what to tell you kiki except to be careful and take care of yourself girl!
06 Oct 07 by member: lorik
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Should you let the police know what happened even though he may not have violated a restraining order?
06 Oct 07 by member: Motivated
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cute pix you've been posting by the way!!! ;)
06 Oct 07 by member: lorik
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Girl, that sounds like something you would see on Lifetime television!
Confession Time:
My daughter's biological father slapped me in my face. I LEFT HIS ASS THAT DAY! We had been dating for three years and stayed engaged for 6mths and during this time he never even acted like he would EVER put his hands on me, so of course, I thought I knew him pretty well. It was hard leaving because my daughter was only a month old. I kept thinking that he was stress from being a new parent and thinking that since this was the first time that I should give him another chance, but I just couldn't forgive him. I gave him his ring back and that was that. I may be hard on men but there are no second chances when you cheat or put your hands on me.
Kiki, Girl you need t stay your distance from this man. I do believe that people can change but, if I were you, I would act as if he didn't even exist. There isn't a law against speaking to you. But make it very clear to him that you don't want to have anything to do with him....not even a friendship. Don't send mixed signals. Be straight forward with him and also tell him that you would appreciate it if he never approaches you ever again. If he violates your wishes, then go file a Stay Away Order. It's like a restraint order, but it's an order that simply states that you have not harmed this person but for whatever reason this person wants you to stay away from them. There is a charge for this order, but if I were you I would have this order in place. Don't let this FOOL still your joy! Good Luck Girl!
06 Oct 07 by member: Mandie160
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HE violated his restraining order and yes the police have been notified. He's going to jail...but he will get out eventually.
06 Oct 07 by member: Reina Estrella
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I haven't spoken with him in well over 2 years and I don't plan on speaking to him...and HELL no we are not friends never will be.
06 Oct 07 by member: Reina Estrella
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Kiki, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you had to endure. I had a miscarriage but I was only about 3 months or so along ... I know that had to be so hard for you. You've been through so much to be soooo young girl. You just take care of yourself and you and Sean just look forward to your future together and maybe the jerk will stay away from ya'll. I wish the two of you a future of much happiness!!! Keep it together girl, you're making such a great life for yourself so don't let the past get you down.
06 Oct 07 by member: lorik
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honey, I know it 's a few days after this happened but please please please be careful! I've not been in a situation like you have but I've been scared for my life! If it weren't for my family (like the one you have here) I wouldn't have gotten through it! Keep the faith and keep that gorgeous smile on your face!
08 Oct 07 by member: Chants
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You are NOT in the same place you used to be. You have a husband who loves you, you have your careers, and friends, and most importantly, you have YOU. You know that you don't want him back, You are a stronger person now because of what happened. DO NOT let him get to you. It is in the end what he wants. and I am sure you do not want him to be happy.
YOU are doing so well in life, you are clean, you have a business and a good job, you are going back to school. Focus on the positive, and do not let his negative get to you. Watch your back, but don't live life walking backwards, you won't get very far.
Remember you have your friends here as well, always willing to talk and listen!!!!
09 Oct 07 by member: bjfowler1981
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thank you guys so much...I really appreciate it!
10 Oct 07 by member: Reina Estrella
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