Chris1979's Journal, 28 May 10

Awwww. I know what you mean about you being too generous to others but they aren't offering anything to help. Im the same way. I guess Some Parents don't see the importance of That one special Day for You. I mean, we as Girls dreamed about it...You're their Daughter, they should help you out... But not all parents see eye to eye with us. All I know is my parents told me already that If I ever get married (and thats a big IF) That they will not be able to help me with the wedding... So I know Exactly how you feel! 

oh wow Chris. Okay first, i am so sorry to hear about your friend. that is absolutely heart breaking. Nothing more sad I think I could hear. She is lucky to have a friend like you to be by her side. weight up- dont sweat it- drink lotsa water and stay clear of calorie ridden lunch feasts! Be wise my friend....you can do it! You parents.... everyday I read, we have more in common. Its terrible. Whats a matter with them? I am not sure if you want me to be quiet about what I think, but you should definetley tell them what you think- i think;) In a way of course.Its really too bad, especially when you are obviously generous with them. My ssiter says it makes us stronger and makes us work harder- maybe that is my life lesson as well as yours? When you have kids you will know different right? So exciting that you are getting married though;) when is the big day??? 

Bailey... I have tried just bringing it up and been rebuffed. My parents often offer things and then don't follow through. I do feel like it's a life lesson to be tough and make it on my own, and that does make me feel empowered, but at the same time it just feels like I'm not worth it, or that they are somehow underhandedly showing that they don't like my fiance. He treats me like a princess, he is overly generous... but he's 50% not white. It sucks to have to admit I think that has something to do with it, in this day and age! :( We are getting married 11/11/11 in the Bahamas. It is actually much much cheaper to do it there than where we live in the states. Even though it sounds more exotic. :) 

Beautiful... it sounds like you are doing really well and making it on your own. Dave Ramsey's advice is so helpful!!! I'm literally using his cash envelopes method this month so I cannot overspend. :) 

I haven't gotten that far in the Book about the Cash Envelopes... lol.. I only started reading it reciently. My Brother is totally the #1 Dave Ramsey Fan ever, So he got me hooked!!! lol.. 

So sorry about your parents and your girlfriend. Life just isn't fair sometimes. Bahamas sounds like the perfect place for a wedding. Have a great day Chris. Keep being generous and giving. 

Chris. Thank you for venting. You have succeeded in helping me feel normal and in very good company. I am very saddened by the news about your sorority sister's health. So very sad. It isn't fair. Clearly many things in life are NOT fair and difficult to understand. I am so sorry. As for your folks ... bummer. Sounds like they may be holding it against him that he is of mixed race. Which is really stupid because most of us are ... it may be polish, and scottish, and italian so we 'look' 'white' but still. But even with that aside it sounds like your folks don't really 'help' much ... so maybe it doesn't have much to do with your man's family background. Who knows. I have to tell you ... I was married about your same age. My folks didn't pay anything but they did give me some money as a gift towards my honeymoon. It was my first marriage (lol only one!!!). Even though Bob and I struggled the wedding was TOTALLY ours and now ... twenty years later I am grateful for that. So ... yours will be yours and it will be wonderful!!! Bless you!!! Be good to yourself!!! Continue to be the kind and wonderful person you are!! 

i dont think there is anything postive to take from this situation- but to keep ourselves sane sometimes we have to think of what we will learn. My parents promise me things still- like my mom always told me she would buy my wedding dress for me, but wehn we went to see it togheter and I paid my deposit, she didnt pay it, i did. i even bought my jewlery the same day and she didnt buy it either. she never mentioned it, until she needs something and then says how bad she feels she never paid for it. she then promises to help with a down payment for our new house. never happened. inf act , we were depending on it ( i should have known better) and she never delivered. unreal. they are not in the best financial situation, but she promises things she has no intentions of delivering. so i know it sucks- sorry that i made this about me- know that you are not alone and sometimes parents just suck. I am a parent, and i make a real effort not to suck;) or make promises i cannot keep!!!! keep your chin up Chris- you will be so proud of your self when you look around from your head table and see what you have accomplished. 

oh and ps- i write too much pss- the destination sounds just lovely! psss i hope your parents see what you see in your fiancee;) 

oh and ps- i write too much pss- the destination sounds just lovely! psss i hope your parents see what you see in your fiancee;) 

What sorority were you in? And where are you going to school? I know completely off topic, but with you living in PA, and I went to school in PA, I wonder....? 

I actually went to college in NJ, at Rutgers. I was in Gamma Phi.  

So Sorry to hear about your friend. I had a friend that son played ball at Rutgers after a seeing a game we all drove to Atlantic City for some fun.They had a awesome team a few years ago.I'm greek and italian and my wife is Croatian so my daughter had a traditional ortrodox wedding her choice, it was amazing one of the happiest days of my LIFE!!OMMPA!  

Hey Coach~ one of my very best friends is 100% Greek Orthodox... she married an Italian. It was tough on her parents at first but now they are fully adjusted. They had an awesome, fun Greek Orthodox wedding complete with the money dance! :) 

Once you made a greek your friend it's for life... You and Salem are very lucky to have found each other I delcare it's a MATCH! 

I too am very sorry to hear about your friend. As humans we are such fragile creatures and life is so delicate and so often unfair. I'm amazed at the diseases young people die of these days, but then I suppose that it was always this way, we just didn't know about it. Insofar as the family is conerned, I am not clear if it is your parents you are referring to but, it seems that way to me. I once studied under a swami who said, if your own family doesn't care for you, go out and make the world your family. I am unfamiliar with the kind of pain you must be experiencing, but reading this, I cannot help having felt badly for you Chris. There is almost always a piece of bitterness that accompanies every sweetness in our lives, and it seems to me that you have a very promising tomorrow coming at you. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend. God Bless...  

So sorry about your friend, thats so hard - especially since she has a child... I couldn't imagine. As far as your parents... that really stinks. Have you ever sat them down and asked them why they are so uninvolved with something that is obviously so important to you? How is their marriage - maybe if they are not happy with each other, it is hard for them to watch their children do the same, KWIM? Anyway, hope you have a good weekend, and thanks for the hint about WetSeal - I went into the store yesterday, and they had the same deal there - $1.95 per tank, and I got 5-6 of them!