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SO- obviously I was MIA for a while. The motivation I had over the summer/fall just hasn't come back. The desire to be motivated is there...but I seem to be depressed and not willing to exercise or stop the bad things into my mouth. (So frustrated at myself)
I also quite Weight Watchers. Why? Because I had stopped going. I stopped going because I knew I wasn't doing well and the Weight Watchers leader would often call upon me in meetings to show how well I was doing and if I said anything less than positive I felt like I was/would be given the 3rd degree.
The past week and a half I have really noticed my health and esteem plummet even more and promised myself I would make another push. I can relax and do things my way since mom is in Mexico on vacation. The last few though there was always an excuse. Homework not done, bad weather, no time, and if a day was perceived as ruined I would go get fast food or something as my final good bye. I have had about three goodbyes so far.
Today was also ruined. But as I said I am starting fresh tomorrow. I took positive steps. I joined a gym. I weighed myself to get a scope of the damage.
There are some new goals I want to achieve.
I still want to be healthy with endurance. I still want to dress up as sexy characters. I want to be more attractive and find a date. Increased self esteem.
NEW THINGS
-10 year highschool reunion in July
-Reunion with some friends @ convention July/August
-In Spa Massage next semester we are required to be a whole lot more naked. I already feel gross. If I could squeeze into a bikini bottom by September that would be awesome.
So tonight- Shower. Stretch. Lotion. Take care of myself. Tomorrow. Get rid of bad food, buy good food, go to gym. Try to detox. I'm gonna try and journal my intake here more too. Hope it doesn't get too obnoxious.
Thanks for inspiring me to come back on.
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